Poems for Donna Rose

For Her

She tosses through the night in broken sleep

No comfort does she find, no sweet repose

There is no help for her in counting sheep

For she can only dream of Donna Rose

The emptiness consumes her as she weeps

Her troubled mind is full of all her woes

Her broken heart a steady rhythm keeps

In honor of her darling Donna Rose

No sound she makes, no whisper, not a peep

Her silent tears she struggles to compose

Her memory, a jumbled, painful heap

And full of only thoughts of Donna Rose

She's overwhelmed for she did not suppose

That she could ever lose her Donna Rose.

December 12, 2010

Death reared his ugly head and looked me in the eye.

"The thing you cherish most is mine. It is no use to try.

I've come to steal your joy. I've come to dim your light.

I've come to magnify your pain and fill your soul with fright."

He took from me what I regarded as most dear

He pierced my soul clear through with his most cruel spear

He bruised my weakened heel and battered me about

He grasped my faith candle and tried to blow it out.

But with each breath he spent, the flame grew ever higher

In trying to dim my faith, he wrestled my messiah

Though I had little strength, he could not overcome

For God became my rock, my shelter and my home.

And Height and depth and death are powerless when faced

With God, his all surpassing love, his mercy and his grace

Donna Rose

Darling child, my precious little rose

Once I held you close within my womb

Now, my Lord has drawn you ever close

Never once were you allowed to bloom

Always to be claimed by death's repose

Restless here, I long to see my babe

Observe your life as you mature and grow

See your tiny hands, your precious face

Embrace you, love you, never let you go

Week 5

Ben and I have been working through our grieving process as best we can. It isn't easy. There are days when all I want to do is cry. Ben has his moments of anguish as well. We'll be doing just fine and then a song will come on the radio, and we find ourselves weeping, missing our girl and feeling so helpless.

Both of us have experienced some anger, some need to blame someone. Me, I tend to blame myself, my body, for rejecting my darling little one. Ben's anger is more that the doctors didn't try to do something. They told us there was nothing they could do, but sometimes we wonder what would have happened if they had tried.

I was thinking about Donna today. Ben and I were shopping for clothing and we were having trouble finding a suit jacket to fit his long arms. It reminded me of how long Donna's arms and legs were in proportion to her body. She takes after her daddy. And she was so perfect to us, so beautiful.